I think I like Mulaney because he tells stories like how I tell stories:
Repeats things for emphasis.
Comments on parts of the story while telling the story, “You know, like how you talk to an 8 year old.”
Adds unnecessary details because I need to be fully immersed in the story I’m telling you. They hold no weight at all to the story but are purely for my own satisfaction.
Inserts random pop culture reference because my mind is basically the Wheel of Fortune and things just seemingly are linked (when they probably really aren’t ).
So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model.
If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story
Storu
Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars… The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass.
My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn’t taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands.
She bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit. Literally no one even questioned her.
She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss’s office. She dropped the folder on his desk and said “I just stole these in 15 minutes“
Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security.
For April Fools’ Day, my local radio station is playing literally nothing but Backstreet Boys’ songs and announcing them as other songs, and I think that’s beautiful.
Vampires suck your blood to get Vitamin D because they can’t go out in the sun themselves. Ever think about that? No. Because you only think of yourself.
